Thursday, October 18, 2012

How Would Jesus Answer #HWJA in the Debate

I've seen bumper stickers and signs saying, "Vote 4 Jesus". So I was wondering how would Jesus have answered some of those questions during the 2nd presidential debate?

Here is my take.

Jeremy's Question:  What can you say to reassure me, but more importantly my parents, that I will be able to sufficiently support myself after I graduate?

Jesus:  Listen, Jeremiah.

Jeremy:  It's Jeremy.

Jesus' Answer:  No, it's Jeremiah. Before I formed you in the womb I knew you. Further, I know that you are going to graduate in 2014 and you're worried about your future. Don't worry about tomorrow. Besides look at all the living creatures on this planet...I take care of them. I will supply for all your needs.

Question:  In what new ways do you intend to rectify the inequalities in the workplace, specifically regarding females making only 72% of what their male counterparts earn?

Answer:  Long before either of these two guys, I stepped across gender barriers and reached out to women.

Question:  What is the biggest difference between you and George W. Bush?

Answer:  I would say that one of the biggest differences would be that he is the son of a former president. I am the Son of the Only Living God. Booyah.

Jesus:  Lorraine. Your question please.

Question:  What do you plan on doing with immigrants without their green cards that are currently living here as productive members of society?

Answer:  Listen, the whole world is Mine. I've been accepting people into My house who are not My people for ages. I've also said that everyone that comes to Me, I will give them peace and rest. So get your illegal tails over here.

Question:  Who was it that denied enhanced security and why?

Answer:  It wasn't Me. I was there with them.

Question:  Using specific examples, can you take this opportunity to debunk the misperceptions and set us straight?

Answer:  I'm glad you asked that question. Since I haven't used any statistics yet I'd like to use some now. I am 100% man and 100% God. I know that sounds confusing and the numbers don't add up in your mind but you should know that it works out for your good. Look at it this way, I'm twice as good as anyone giving 100%.

I also am in love with 100% of the world. Regardless of race, religion, or gender. And every single person that puts their trust in Me will live eternally.

Those are the facts.

Sunday, March 4, 2012

You Believe What?

There is a subtle difference in asking someone "What do you believe?" and "You believe what?"

I was asked a few months back by a couple Christian friends if I believed in the "rapture". I unassumingly thought that I just might be on the same team as these guys but apparently not. See when I told them that I actually did believe in the "rapture" they proceeded to mock me and tell me how blind I was to the truth. They asked me why I believed in such a bogus theory. I didn't give them an answer and here is why.

I only debate Jesus.
  • This is my standard.
  • On any subject I will give you my belief/opinion but once you decide to make a debate out of it I will check out of it.
  • My thought is that you can err in many doctrinal things but if you get the foundation of Christianity, which is Jesus, wrong you askew everything else.

Mark 9:40 says:
For the one who is not against us is for us.

This was Jesus speaking. [Just in case you weren't aware that Jesus spoke in red.]