Thursday, October 18, 2012

How Would Jesus Answer #HWJA in the Debate

I've seen bumper stickers and signs saying, "Vote 4 Jesus". So I was wondering how would Jesus have answered some of those questions during the 2nd presidential debate?

Here is my take.

Jeremy's Question:  What can you say to reassure me, but more importantly my parents, that I will be able to sufficiently support myself after I graduate?

Jesus:  Listen, Jeremiah.

Jeremy:  It's Jeremy.

Jesus' Answer:  No, it's Jeremiah. Before I formed you in the womb I knew you. Further, I know that you are going to graduate in 2014 and you're worried about your future. Don't worry about tomorrow. Besides look at all the living creatures on this planet...I take care of them. I will supply for all your needs.

Question:  In what new ways do you intend to rectify the inequalities in the workplace, specifically regarding females making only 72% of what their male counterparts earn?

Answer:  Long before either of these two guys, I stepped across gender barriers and reached out to women.

Question:  What is the biggest difference between you and George W. Bush?

Answer:  I would say that one of the biggest differences would be that he is the son of a former president. I am the Son of the Only Living God. Booyah.

Jesus:  Lorraine. Your question please.

Question:  What do you plan on doing with immigrants without their green cards that are currently living here as productive members of society?

Answer:  Listen, the whole world is Mine. I've been accepting people into My house who are not My people for ages. I've also said that everyone that comes to Me, I will give them peace and rest. So get your illegal tails over here.

Question:  Who was it that denied enhanced security and why?

Answer:  It wasn't Me. I was there with them.

Question:  Using specific examples, can you take this opportunity to debunk the misperceptions and set us straight?

Answer:  I'm glad you asked that question. Since I haven't used any statistics yet I'd like to use some now. I am 100% man and 100% God. I know that sounds confusing and the numbers don't add up in your mind but you should know that it works out for your good. Look at it this way, I'm twice as good as anyone giving 100%.

I also am in love with 100% of the world. Regardless of race, religion, or gender. And every single person that puts their trust in Me will live eternally.

Those are the facts.

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