Saturday, January 22, 2011

Every Saint Has a Past

I don't know who said it but it's true, "Every saint has a past and every sinner has a future."

I'm about to lay some stuff out there that those of you that have known me for years may have never known about in my past.

First, I was born...

I was born into an abusive home. Not towards me as much but between my dad and mom. My dad was a very mean alcoholic. My mom fought back when she was able. I would escape to my room hoping the yelling and fighting would stop.

My mom was your average Christian. She went to church as often as we could get a ride but she didn't live it at home. It made me question the reality of God.

When I was 9 I was molested by a leader in the church my mom took me to. From that moment on I had a deep hatred for God, the church and anyone in authority.

I became extremely violent. I never used drugs or alcohol but violence gave me a high. Without going into detail all I can say is if it wasn't for the grace of God I should have spent years in prison.

I started going to Faith Assembly of God with my mom right before I went into high school. Little did I know that this was the place where God would get a hold of my life in a very real and significant way. I gave lip-service for several years going to church. But one summer when I was 16 I went to a youth camp with the church and God began to work on my heart. I came back home and talked with Pastor Mack and he told me that I can't let anyone else determine my walk with God.

So at that moment I sincerely gave my life over to God.

At the start of my junior year in high school I was targeted by a group of people who tried to take my life on different occasions. So by divine providence I was transferred to a high school closer to Faith Assembly; where I continued to grow in my love for God.

I gave you a glimpse into my past to let you know that the following I also had to learn and live.

Everyone has a past. Some may have been dealt worse hands than others but that doesn't give us liberty to remain beat and living in the past.

Your terrible past does not determine future defeat. You choose to remain bound. Divine grace is too great to waste it defeated by man. You and I have the ability to take what has been thrown at us and use it for God's glory or continue to wallow in it in misery. God's grace is so magnificent why would we let anyone rob us of this great experience?

It's easy to cop out. To say people are holding you down when in reality it is your choices that are. I don't pass the buck for the violent acts that I did on the one who harmed me. I choose not to continue that cycle of ignorance. I made those mistakes and it is by God's grace that I've been forgiven and am free.

We all should strive toward the future and you can not do that in the past. Whether you have a relationship with God or not...don't hold onto the things that keep you chained to your history. Trust in God's grace, learn from your past but live in this day.

1 comment:

Dustin said...

Wow, thanks for being so transparent with your story. I really do appreciate that!